Its Safer on the Island

TOP TEN LIST WHY I MISS ANN

10. "Good morning are you going to exercise this morning."
9. "Don't you think my new shoes are cute."
8. "You can rub my feet if you want."
7. "I am very worried about___________" (insert any child's name)
6. "time for prayer."
5. "do we have any ice cream?"
4. phone messages for Ann on message machine, "I'm returning your call about the boat I have for sale."
3. "Look what I made for __________" (insert any grandchild's name.)
2. "Scott needs a girlfriend."
1. xoxoxoxox

Why I Like Oats

NICK

Nick: "I like oats because they are nice and crunchy and they make my tummy feel good."








GIBSON



Gibson: "I don't know, I guess because my Mom liked oats."






WINSLOW

Winslow: "I like oats because they make me feel good when I'm feeling down, you know the gelding thing. Makes me feel like a stallion. I also like searching for that last oat, the one that is in the corner of the trough that everyone else missed."





VANITY



Vanity: "Why do like oats? You know its in the scriptures, wheat for man, corn for the ox and oats for the horse." (D&C 89)

VISITORS TODAY

Going, Going, Gone, Billy Wins the Auction to Rescue Scott

I received a call from Scott yesterday afternoon at around 4:30. He had managed to lose my keys to the Honda sking, in addition to his wallet and cell phone. He had probably been too excited to get going in the morning and forgot to zip up his pocket. I couldn't get angry because he was talking to the orignal key loser in the world. The key has an electronic chip so a locksmith is no good. I went home and found the valet key which will work. Scott calls and I tell him I do not want to drive to Mount Hood Meadows. Well, Jeff his friends mother can go. "How old is she" I ask, imagining I was sending some 90 year old lady up to the mountains in the dark, noise in the background, Scott, "she is in her 40's" "Well she is younger then me, I am in my 50's so she can go." "Okay" Scott says, "but she is not wild about it." Wade is next to me. "Wade do you want to go up to Mount Hood Meadows, Scott will give you $100." "Surrre" Wade says. I call Scott. Five minutes later Scott calls back. "I have a guy from work that will come up here for $50. (the rescue price is getting cheaper) "Can you pay him dad and I'll pay you back." "Sure." Ten minutes later, another call from Scott. "Billy is all alone and will come up and doesn't need any money. (ah hah thats the best bid yet) He will go down to Salem and pick up the key." Billy comes I give him $40 for gas and food. He turns it down, but I insist, I say to salve my concience since I am the father and this is a huge favor. Scott pulled in around midnight looking like Rocky Raccoon (it was a sunny day)

It's Wild and Dangerous Out Here

The night before last I was laying in bed. I had the window open. I heard a goose honk- it was close to midnight. I awoke with a shock. Ann remembers. I turned to Ann and said, "that wasn't a normal honk that was a very scared terrified honk, something terrible just happened." Ann said, "go back to sleep and don't worry about it." Well I did worry about it.

Last evening Scott came up to borrow the Honda to go sking, a rather regular occurence. After he left he came right back up and said there was a dead goose down by the red house. I jumped in the car with him and went down to the house. Sure enough, there was a huge goose in the road. The dogs had pulled him out of the grass or whereever they had found him. They had chewed on him which is natural but they were not responsible for his death. He was just a treat. In fact when I brought him up to the house they slunk in the corner knowing that they had to keep far away from a goose. He was stone cold. This was the goose that had let out the terrified shriek the night before. It could have been a mink, perhaps a skunk or even possibly a weasel. A coyote is a possiblity but a coyote would have eaten him all down. My vote is for a mink. He was not a desperate goose. I think he had a mate. I will keep my eyes open for a lonesome mate. I am sorry for the sad news but it can be a cold hard world even for peaceful geese.

Let us not be too sad. He is happy now. Ann commented the other night that there is no sadness in the death of goodness only that they will be missed by those still here. He and his mate will again be together. He is in heaven, someday he will be ressurected with all the other geese and again fly through the skies.

How Not to Bake a Cake by Grandpa Tigner

"I was about four years old. I had seen my mother and sister make cakes and I decided I would make one to pass the time. I got everything I had seen them use, like flour and lard, and lots of vanilla to give it a good flavor. When I went to get the sugar, I did not get the right dish; I got a bowl of salt instead. I like my cake sweet, so I put in plenty of this so-called sugar.

When my sister came home from school, my cake was in the oven, just about done. She saw the mess I had made, pulled out my cake, and went outside and scattered it all over for the chickens to eat.

My mother had purchased several Plymouth Rock chickens, which are grey chickens about the size of a Rhode Island Red. These chickens were always hungry. So here came these purebred Plymouth Rock hens which my mother was going to use for a big start in the chicken business, and they gobbled up that salty cake.

Then you know what happened. There was not any water around, and that salt killed the chickens. When my mother came home, her old hens and little chickens were upside down in the yard stone dead! I heard about that in no uncertain terms.